following in your footsteps

how long does it take for a raindrop to fall
from a cloud to the ground? i want to hear your voice
filling from spaces other than a memory
washed out on an empty shore, fading
high tides until there is no sand left, no message
no bottle, no footprints but it continues to rain
the sound of a ventilator being switched off collecting
into a puddle around my feet, your silhouette stolen
by the unassuming waves until i cannot pick your hand
out from a line-up, holding an umbrella, my palm
at seven years old, an iv drip pierced like a rose thorn
into a gardener’s wrist like some kind of sick joke in my dreams
you die, over and over, i am twelve years old
and i cannot find my next birthday

another ten years for me to chase the road that you walked
practice medicine and what i would have said to you
over and over until it fits in the space it takes for the graduation
cap to be tossed to the sky i love you i love you i love you
this is for you this is for you this is for you for it to fall back
into my hands, with your reply i love you i’m so proud of you

18 thoughts on “following in your footsteps

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