fantasies of when we meet again

one, i see you on the streets
maybe when you were just on your way to the gym
and i was only in town to visit my sister
it is impossible to pass as strangers when
i can forget everything, but never your silhouette
you call out to me, in a voice that unravels all the knotted time between us
and i am 18 again

two, we talk about the weather
i describe every drop of rain that’s fallen
and you count the number of clouds in the sky
until we both run out, until there is nothing left to say
but for me to ask if there is a her
you say there haven’t been any since, and i ask why
because they weren’t you

three, i tell you about the poems
and you see yourself in every dotted i, every crossed t
you ask if i ever wrote about anyone else
yes, but not in this way, not on this scale
you are the face of all my heartbreak
and i’ve wrung every second we had together dry
the other girls – did they ever write for you?

four, we catch up over coffee
you drink it black now, but i still opt for mochas
and every time the cup empties we find another reason for a refill
time must have softened our pride, smoothed out our clumsiness
we’ve never welded so well together
take a walk in the dark, fighting temptations with pocketed fingers
you ask me to keep talking, so you don’t have to confront my still lips

five, you finally admit to realising your mistake
stopped drinking for risk of dialling my number
how your heart still flinches when you meet someone who shares my name
twitched at your cowardice for not reaching out
but hated it more for letting me go at all
you think it’s safe to confess, because there is a diamond on my finger
and we haven’t spoken in years

six, i tell you i wish you’d called
because up until the second i told him yes, i would have picked up
you apologise for being too late, and there is a swollen silence
a moment, where my ring has never felt tighter
there is no time for logic, consideration
but i have never been sane when it comes to you anyway, so i say
better late than never

please, don’t you see? we can’t not end up together

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55 thoughts on “fantasies of when we meet again

  1. pennygadd51 says:

    That’s a lovely poem, Melody. I think there is a key word in the title, namely ‘Fantasies’.

    This poem doesn’t contain the vivid, violent metaphors of your earlier work. It’s gentler, more accepting, more reasoned. It’s the imaginary continuation of something that happened years ago and is now pleasantly warm rather than searing. “Time must have softened our pride, smoothed out our clumsiness”. Indeed, just so.

    “we talk about the weather
    i describe every drop of rain that’s fallen
    and you count the number of clouds in the sky”

    This is a delightful metaphor, conjuring up the way two people, deeply connected, exchange banalities until silence falls.

    I like this poem!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Heartbeatingwings says:

      Hi Penny, thanks for dropping by!
      Definitely, ‘fantasies’ is the key word here. I chose that word so I could go all out and include every daydream and late-night musing without having to worry about being ‘realistic’.
      You’re completely correct regarding the style – I was going for more of a stream of consciousness piece. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’ve picked it up!
      I’m so glad you like this poem xx

      Like

  2. Oam says:

    seven, i keep everything intact here in my heart. I want your black coffee and my sugar in it here a place for you in the negative zone where my soul rests and spirit dreams. In actuality this happened to me just this July. I am unhappily married person. An ancient love of mine reached out and she still asks, why I left her. before i ended the messenger chats, i told her, Yes I am unhappy with my marriage, in a way i wanted so much someone to be a friend to me. The thing is, I dunwant no more stress in my life that is already there is. Yah. seven is where I am at now.

    Liked by 1 person

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